Perhaps this will help, AJ:

When there's only one person going on about something, it's very easy to dismiss that person as a statistical outlier. A nutjob, if you will, out in left field. However, when EVERYONE is saying the same damn thing, it's time to stop trying to "explain" what's in your head and accept the fact that you made a mistake. Were wrong, as it were. At that point the moral/ethical/intelligent/wise thing to do is shut up, stop arguing, and simply accept that what you're hearing is the truth.

I say this not from a point of criticism, but of sincere desire to help. I was exactly the same way as you for many years. My 14 year old is that way now. Ultimately, nobody cares what's in your head. They care about what you DO. Learn to recognize when you're at the point in an argument.

@thanksajdotcom said:

Most of the time that people argue with me trying to get me to admit I'm "wrong", they don't even realize that they are fighting the wrong fight. On most things, it's not that I'm fighting that I'm right. I'm just trying to explain that when the information I have goes into my head, the output is not what they're getting. My conclusion is not always right, although it many times has been. My conclusion is how my mind interprets the data and determines the result of the problem presented. Take it for what you will.

Yeah ... my 14 year old tries that, too. She's still wrong.

Speaking as a systems consultant, I see several things wrong with this interaction. In no particular order:

• Time is money and volunteering is for retirees with nothing better to do. Invoice for your work at the market rate. ALWAYS. Discount if you feel the need, but always let them know you cut them a deal at your option.

• You didn't mention much in the way of communicating with the staff. If there was even a remote possibility of an outage, that should have been communicated.

• People can work around outages as long as they know they're coming. It's when shit goes down unexpectedly that people get angry. I seriously doubt there was a "no downtime" expectation. Instead I suspect it was a matter of timing and the interruption impacted a deadline. Also, not everyone employed by every church is on-site all the time. Is it possible the staffer made a special trip in to accomplish something?

So, yeah, from where I'm standing? Looks like some fault on both sides.

Speaking as a systems consultant, I see several things wrong with this interaction. In no particular order:

• Time is money and volunteering is for retirees with nothing better to do. Invoice for your work at the market rate. ALWAYS. Discount if you feel the need, but always let them know you cut them a deal at your option.

• You didn't mention much in the way of communicating with the staff. If there was even a remote possibility of an outage, that should have been communicated.

• People can work around outages as long as they know they're coming. It's when shit goes down unexpectedly that people get angry. I seriously doubt there was a "no downtime" expectation. Instead I suspect it was a matter of timing and the interruption impacted a deadline. Also, not everyone employed by every church is on-site all the time. Is it possible the staffer made a special trip in to accomplish something?

So, yeah, from where I'm standing? Looks like some fault on both sides.

Perhaps this will help, AJ:

When there's only one person going on about something, it's very easy to dismiss that person as a statistical outlier. A nutjob, if you will, out in left field. However, when EVERYONE is saying the same damn thing, it's time to stop trying to "explain" what's in your head and accept the fact that you made a mistake. Were wrong, as it were. At that point the moral/ethical/intelligent/wise thing to do is shut up, stop arguing, and simply accept that what you're hearing is the truth.

I say this not from a point of criticism, but of sincere desire to help. I was exactly the same way as you for many years. My 14 year old is that way now. Ultimately, nobody cares what's in your head. They care about what you DO. Learn to recognize when you're at the point in an argument.

@thanksajdotcom said:

Most of the time that people argue with me trying to get me to admit I'm "wrong", they don't even realize that they are fighting the wrong fight. On most things, it's not that I'm fighting that I'm right. I'm just trying to explain that when the information I have goes into my head, the output is not what they're getting. My conclusion is not always right, although it many times has been. My conclusion is how my mind interprets the data and determines the result of the problem presented. Take it for what you will.

Yeah ... my 14 year old tries that, too. She's still wrong.